You won't see many Minecraft related posts, I swear.
The low quality, pixelated JD warped in to the vast world before him. He just spent $22 to go into this world, and he was going to make it worth every penny. He read all the wikis, mastered the art of the crafting table, and has probably read every tweet that Notch has ever posted. He was ready to play Minecraft.
He had learned throughout many past experiences and parodies that the first thing you must do is punch trees to get log blocks. I can't punch that, he thought, It's a tree. So against all of his prior logic and knowledge, he repeatedly slugged at the tree. Success. A perfect cube of log fell out of the tree. Now only a few more times, and he can build a house.
Hours later, as the sun went down, he had completed a modest one-room house with an attic and basement. He was about to lay down and call it a day, when an unfamiliar voice called to him. Nervous, JD looked out the window to see who the visitor was. He was a six foot tall, top-heavy, four-legged monster in a dull shade of green.
"Hey JD," the strange fellow said, "This... is a very nice... house... you have here. It would be a shhhhhaame if something were to happen to it..."
His S's were long and dragged out like a hiss. His voice was a silly one, but his appearance made up for it in creepiness. As he finished his sentence, he flashed into a bright white, then exploded.
GAME OVER, JD's screen read, his score was somehow &e0.
"Oh well," JD sighed, "Back to Gears 3!"
Definitely the most thinking-outside-the-box topic I've seen in a while. Really cool how you tie in the more ridiculous, interesting elements of the game, like the four-legged green monster and punching trees, to establish the light-hearted spirit of the poem that comes full-circle at the end. Awesome descriptions, too.
ReplyDeleteAlso, don't be worried that you won't post very much on the blog. It can be pretty fun :)
I must say that I dig the villain in this piece. Also, the nonchalant attitude at the end adds to the humor in this alternate universe created.
ReplyDeleteA piece to remember!